How to Prepare for Home Care When an Elderly Relative is Not Ready for Care

Preparing for elderly care at home is a topic that is not always an easy one to discuss. Deciding on the right type of care needs careful consideration to make sure it is suitable for you and your loved one.

As we start to age, care becomes a question to ask. As a family member, you may see your loved one aging quicker than they may feel, and a challenging thing can be to talk about care. Care becomes a challenge of feeling like you are losing your independence and life. However, with elderly home care, you can remain independent within the surroundings of your own home comforts and memories.

Care also doesn’t have to mean someone supporting you with every need 24/7. Care can start from a little home help cleaning, through to live in care around the clock if required. With home care, we at Guardian Angel Carers feel it allows you or a loved one to remain in the comfort of your own home and live your life as independently as possible.

When it comes to having that talk with a relative that may not be ready for care there can be several ways to have that chat and we hope the following tips help.

1. Start Early

When you start to know a loved one may need a little care at home, a good starting point is to have an easy-going conversation about help and support long before there’s any obstacle or problems to arise. Preparing for elderly home care before it is an urgent requirement is a good starting point and can make the transition less of a stressful journey.

Look for opportunities to approach the subject and ask questions like: “Where do you see yourself living when you get older?” or “How would you feel about hiring someone to help clean, go to the shops and that sort of thing?” Asking them the question gets them to think about the idea of having help at home and how it could potentially make their lives more comfortable with a little help.

2. Be Patient with your elderly loved one

Ask open questions and give your loved one time to think and answer. Conversations may be repetitive and feel like you are not getting anywhere but persist and be patient, and you will eventually reach an arrangement that suits them and gives you a sense of control.

3. Ask Why

Try to work out why your elderly relative refuses care. Is it about a lack of privacy, fears about the cost, losing independence, or having a stranger in the house? Listen and try to understand their point of view rather than dismiss your loved one’s feelings. By asking questions it allows you to see what care is going to best suit your loved one and ensures you are putting their feelings and thoughts first. This is so important especially as the care is for them. You want them to feel valued, understood, confident and happy with the choice you and they have made.

4. Offer Care Options

The care pathway is endless, from a little help with home chores to companionship, visiting care, overnight care through to live in care. If possible, allow your relative to be involved in deciding what help is needed.

Make them central to the decision-making process. So, you could give them the opportunity to sit in on conversations to decide and talk about what they feel is the right care for them. Also, encourage them to see the carer as a companion.

5. Bring in a Health Care Professional

Sometimes it’s easier for an older person to talk to a professional rather than a family member. Don’t hesitate to ask a doctor, nurse, or community leader to approach the subject of their care needs.

6. Prioritise Things

Make a list of your concerns and your relative’s issues and problems. Number each point depending on its urgency. You can also note down steps that should be taken to resolve the problems. This will help keep you keep on top of everything and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.

7. Keep Things General

Sometimes particularly when dealing with someone who’s suffering from dementia, it’s best to give just the important information rather than every single detail. For example, you could let your relative know that a carer will be coming to help them on a particular day, but don’t feel you have to explain everything about what this will entail.

8.Take it Slowly

Gradually introducing a carer to help at home will allow your loved one to become comfortable with their presence and naturally develop a rapport. Perhaps arrange a short visit so you can get to know them over a coffee, or maybe ask them to assist with a shopping trip.

When deciding on support for a loved one it is about getting it right and taking the time to think about the different opportunities of home care and how they may support your loved one. We believe care is to inspire confidence in the hearts of our clients and their families, through the professional and compassionate care that we deliver to our clients and believe this should be replicated when it comes to you choosing care.

If you are struggling to get a loved one to commit to care, then please contact our friendly team and we will happily support you on this journey.